Macho Macho

Ok, you may have guessed by now I’m not the hottest on blogging. I have around 45 MORE t-shirts to include on this blog and god knows when they will be done. Nevermind, at least I design great tees (if I do say so myself ;p).

So at last… the Medallion Man is back and kicking in this trompe l’oeil t-shirt I have created. I did cop out and leave it as pale t-shirts. Too many hairs to highlight for darker wear. However I think the image has overall come out really well, and the idea is slap bang in your face.

Men these days are pampering themselves to all sorts of beauty therapies. I don’t particularly like hairy bodies, but being a straight guy probs has something to do with that. Sure some men like a hairy minge, even armpits or legs, but I doubt any guy admires a hairy female chest. In general it’s a genetic odditiy, something imbalanced in the old hormone department. But guys with hairy chests?

I don’t have much hair on my chest, but I have some, if it was out of control and creeping up my neck or over the shoulders I’d think about getting something done. But hairs on the chest? Remember that old saying, ‘This’ll put hairs on ya chest’ ? Usually in remark to a particularly foul but strong bottle of booze, it didn’t, I mean put hairs on ya chest. But back then it must’ve been a sign of virility. In fact it still is - and that’s the problem.

In an over-sanitized, over-feminized race, the next pressure I will probably face is my ensuing baldness. I found it pretty depressing seeing it creep back, although I’ve been shaving my head for 10 years, I appreciated the stubble. If women hate hairs on the chest, they love them on the head, however short.

Basically women want men to not only behave, but even look like women. The fate of the human race relies on medical science and their next breakthrough.

An orgasm pill for women. End of man.

A baldness cure. Hoorah, man lives to fight another day.

Anyway did you see the golden ringpull? I thought it a nice tribute to David Jason’s cocoa tin lid medallion in the old British TV comedy ‘Open All Hours’.  My old dad wears a medallion, ok so it’s a St. Christopher’s pendant, and no he doesn’t leave his shirt open to the waist anymore. But I can faintly remember when he did and he wasn’t the only one. Every dad had a black shirt, hairy chest, and a medallion hanging for all to see.

None of it seemed to particularly entice the ladies at the time, sure they were all married, but a bit of parading about in the park was harmless enough. Still, even the hippy disco chicks way back when had already decided - hairy chests are out.

Welcome! At last Retro God has its own blog, and I’ve a lot of work ahead of me. Let me introduce myself, I’m Paul Baines, a UK based fashion designer, and I am Retro God! OK, perhaps a bit presumptuous, but it caught your eye, or you wouldn’t be here. Now, I’m not your usual T-Shirt designer (god bless them, one and all ;p ) - I’m not a design snob - well, perhaps I am - but I do come from a very different background than your usual pick. Way back in the early 90’s I graduated with a Ba Hons in Conceptual Arts & Design.

Now you may ask what the hell is it? Good question, and one I’m still trying to answer myself. Take a peek at Marcel Duchamp, there’s a great start, work your way along the arts time-line, looking for the freaks and you’ll find yourself in Andy Warhol’s Factory. Keep going, there’s Jeff Koons, and hey how about chucking in Damien Hirst and Tracey Emin for good measure. They, however much they might deny it, are all conceptual artists. Right… so why fashion, why mass-made, why the on line store? Why not a gallery? Why not? It seems the greatest gallery system in the world is right here and it’s on line.

It’s my site, it’s yours, it’s every forum and blog out there. I was taught to artistically justify every idea, every action, every piece. I’m still doing it now. In fact, that’s just about the best reason to blog every design I’ve created. I am using the medium of kitsch, of mass production, to subvert social comment, to disable the enabler, inject discourse with street style philosophies, pour them back into the streets via fashion, thereby intensifying further debate on line.

A wonderful loop, something I’m fascinated by, the entropy of discourse. This may all seem very high and mighty for a lowly t-shirt designer, but in all honesty, I try to maintain a low-brow veneer for all my designs, this increases the effectiveness of the subversion.

Take a look at the designs and perhaps you’ll get a clearer idea of my overall line of inquiry. Using common sayings and urban myths, everyday people with unglamorous lives, utilitarian objects, word play and surrealist effect, to convey the current Zeitgeist of the most psychologically damaged culture in history.